Michelle,1 recently divorced, meets Jack on a popular dating site. She lives in Trois-Rivières, while Jack’s from Ottawa, but now lives overseas. He’s a businessman, and his work takes him abroad often. They talk for a few months, and despite the distance between them, they begin a relationship.
Here’s Michelle’s story
One day, Jack messages Michelle to tell her that his bank account has been frozen. He’s not able to pay for his internet, and that means they won’t be able to communicate. He asks her to send him some money. A little while later, he tells her that his wallet got stolen. Even worse, he’s found himself in legal trouble as a result. He says that fraud is rampant in the country he’s visiting.
Over time, Jack seems to need more and more money, and he keeps asking Michelle to make international funds transfers. She sends him thousands of dollars.
Sadly, this is a classic case of a romance scam. When Michelle learned that she was an unwitting intermediary in a fraud ring, she was crushed. It wasn’t just the money. She felt robbed of her self-confidence, her own self-worth. She’s careful by nature, she wasn’t born yesterday. How could she have fallen victim to such a thing? Unfortunately, that’s the sobering reality: it can happen to anyone. Luckily, Michelle had a trusted financial advisor who helped her understand what was really going on.
Misplaced trust
Scammers are masters of manipulation who carefully build trust with their victims. They’re also very skilled in providing excuses and reassurance when questioned. Victims are often convinced they’ve found love.
Sometimes it takes months, or even years, for them to realize they’re being scammed. And once they do, they feel betrayed and ashamed at having been taken advantage of. Not to mention the money they’ve lost, which in some cases is their entire life savings.
One scam leads to another
When it comes to romance scams, vigilance is key, especially since victims are likely to be scammed again. Fraudsters operate in teams and are able to impersonate local police, the RCMP, Interpol, and so on. They sometimes contact victims promising to get their lost money back, provided they pay fees to open a file, start an investigation, hire a lawyer and so on.
Remember: real authorities will never ask for money to start the process of getting your money back.
Preventing romance scams: Good habits to have on social media and dating sites
Social media, dating apps and websites can be a great place to start and carry on relationships, whether they’re romantic or platonic. However, some ill-intentioned people create fake profiles to find their next potential victim.
Here are some tips to help you protect yourself:
- Do some research on anyone who contacts you. See if there’s any information about them online. Scammers don’t use their own photos to create fake profiles. You can use a search engine to do a reverse image search and see if their photo actually comes from somewhere else. It could be a picture that’s used by various people. That said, even if you don’t get any results, that still doesn’t mean that their picture is real.
- Check out their profiles on social media. Do they seem to have very few friends, or are their friends spread out all over the world? Is there little interaction on the account, or has the profile been created very recently? Something might be fishy!
- Be careful what you post online. Cybercriminals can use what you share online to pretend they have the same interests as you. They can also use it to create a more believable profile to win your trust. Check out our tips to protect your privacy online.
- Be wary of urgent requests and never disclose confidential information like your banking information. If someone you’ve never met in person asks you for money, be careful, no matter what their story is. It could very well be a scam. If you have any doubts, talk about it with someone you trust.
5 tips to spot a romance scam
Here are some early warning signs of a romance scam. It’s not an exhaustive list—there are other signs too.
- You meet the person on a website, a dating app or social media. The person might also try to get you to switch the conversation to another messaging app so they don’t lose contact with you if their false profile is reported.
- For various reasons, meeting on video or in person proves seems to be difficult, or impossible. The person can’t meet with you, but they can still send you voice messages or videos. Be careful, scammers are now able to use AI to create fake texts, images and audio and video messages. You even have to pay close attention to video calls, since scammers can even use AI to change their appearance while they’re on a call with you. Keep an eye on their facial expressions, which could look stilted and unnatural, or on the other hand, seem almost too fluid or animated. Also take note if they respond to you instantly, no matter the time of day.
- The person is in a different province or country. Scammers often use this excuse to avoid face-to-face meetings.
- Strange, unexpected things happen to them: they get into an accident, someone they know gets sick, they get in trouble with the law, they come into an inheritance, the list goes on.
- They start by asking for only a bit of money, but the amounts get larger and larger over time. They may claim they need to pay for their phone or internet, or need money to travel or cover legal fees, etc.
If you notice these things happening, take a step back and ask yourself some honest questions. Talk about it with someone you trust. Don’t blame yourself or feel embarrassed. Scammers are extremely manipulative and are skilled at dismissing their victims’ doubts.
Payment methods can be quite varied.
Romance scammers often ask for gift cards or money transfers. They could ask you to pay them in crypto, which is increasingly popular, or to invest in a company. They might also ask you to send money to people they know, like a sibling, parent or lawyer, for any number of reasons.
How to report romance scam
If you think you’ve been the victim of a romance scam, you can report it to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre. You can also report it to your local police.
Plus, you can call us at 1-800-224-7737 to get support or to discuss the situation confidentially. The staff at your financial institution can also give you more information about the support Desjardins provides in the event of fraud.